Si nj\u00eb ekspert n\u00eb neglizhimcen emocionale, kam zbuluar se shum\u00eb njer\u00ebzve ju \u00ebsht\u00eb vjedhur di\u00e7ka jetike n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri. Dhe shumica nuk e kuptojn\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb mungon.<\/p>\n
\u00cbsht\u00eb z\u00ebri i tyre.<\/p>\n
Shumica e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb neglizhuar emocionalisht kan\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb dhe ata e thon\u00eb at\u00eb. Ata jan\u00eb t\u00eb shpejt\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tilla si:<\/p>\n
Si jeni?<\/em><\/p>\n Ka di\u00e7ka qe nuk shkon?<\/em><\/p>\n Po, un\u00eb do ta b\u00ebj at\u00eb nder p\u00ebr ty.<\/em><\/p>\n Gjith\u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb!<\/em><\/p>\n Un\u00eb jam mir\u00eb.<\/em><\/p>\n Un\u00eb nuk kam nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb.<\/em><\/p>\n Sigurisht, do ta b\u00ebj k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebr ty.<\/em><\/p>\n Jam i lumtur ta marr p\u00ebrsip\u00ebr at\u00eb detyr\u00eb, mund t\u00eb ma jap\u00ebsh mua.<\/em><\/p>\n Nd\u00ebrsa kjo mund t\u00eb duket si nj\u00eb koleksion i rast\u00ebsish\u00ebm\u00a0 deklaratash,\u00a0 t\u00eb gjitha ndajn\u00eb nj\u00eb tem\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt. Ata b\u00ebhen t\u00eb gjitha p\u00ebr \u201ctjetrin\u201d dhe jo p\u00ebr \u201cveten\u201d. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto deklarata b\u00ebhen nga njer\u00ebz me neglizhenc\u00eb emocionale n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri. Ata p\u00ebrcjellin q\u00ebndrimin jet\u00ebsor t\u00eb atyre q\u00eb u rrit\u00ebn me emocionet e tyre t\u00eb shp\u00ebrfillura: \u201c\u00c7do gj\u00eb b\u00ebhet n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb tjetrit\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n N\u00ebse ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb keni kaluar koh\u00eb me nj\u00eb foshnje, me siguri e keni v\u00ebn\u00eb re q\u00eb e shprehin veten lirsh\u00ebm. Para se t\u00eb fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb flasin ata qajn\u00eb ose belb\u00ebzojn\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019ju komunikuar at\u00eb q\u00eb ndjejn\u00eb. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt lindin me nj\u00eb z\u00eb q\u00eb e p\u00ebrdorin natyrsh\u00ebm. Ajo q\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb ndjen dhe mendon nuk ka asnj\u00eb filt\u00ebr. Ajo del automatikisht dhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb.\u00a0Por fatkeq\u00ebsisht, shum\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, ju duhet t\u00eb fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb filtrojn\u00eb z\u00ebrat e tyre shum\u00eb shpejt.<\/p>\n Imagjinoni t\u00eb jeni f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe t\u00eb ndiheni t\u00eb l\u00ebnduar. Fytyra dhe gjuha e trupit tregojn\u00eb qart\u00eb emocionet tuaja. Por prind\u00ebrit tuaj sillen sikur gjith\u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb rregull dhe b\u00ebjn\u00eb sikur nuk e v\u00ebn\u00eb re. Imagjinoni t\u00eb shkoni te prind\u00ebrit tuaj p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb, por ata nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb disponuesh\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u2019ju ndihmuar.\u00a0Imagjinoni t\u00eb kaloni \u00e7do dit\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs tuaj si f\u00ebmij\u00eb, pa ju pyetur njeri:<\/p>\n Pse je i trishtuar sot?<\/em><\/p>\n A ka ndodhur di\u00e7ka n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb ka m\u00ebrzitur?<\/em><\/p>\n A ndihesh i frik\u00ebsuar?<\/em><\/p>\n \u00c7far\u00eb d\u00ebshiron?<\/em><\/p>\n \u00c7far\u00eb ndjen?<\/em><\/p>\n \u00c7far\u00eb t\u00eb nevojitet?<\/em><\/p>\n Kur nuk ju b\u00ebhen mjaftuesh\u00ebm k\u00ebto pyetje, \u00ebsht\u00eb e natyrshme q\u00eb truri juaj t\u00eb supozoj\u00eb se ndjenjat, d\u00ebshirat dhe nevojat \u00a0personale nuk kan\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi. Pse t\u2019i shprehni ato kur askujt nuk i intereson v\u00ebrtet?<\/p>\n Imagjinoni t\u00eb kaloni \u00e7do dit\u00eb t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebris\u00eb suaj duke marr\u00eb pak feedback rreth asaj se kush jeni. Reagime t\u00eb tilla si:<\/p>\n Je i mrekulluesh\u00ebm n\u00eb matematik\u00eb. Por ne duhet t\u00eb punojm\u00eb pak m\u00eb shum\u00eb me fokusin t\u00ebnd n\u00eb l\u00ebnd\u00ebt e tjera.<\/em><\/p>\n Duket sikur nuk t\u00eb p\u00eblqen t\u00eb shkosh n\u00eb praktik\u00ebn e bejsbollit.<\/em><\/p>\n Ti ke nj\u00eb sens t\u00eb mir\u00eb humori!<\/em><\/p>\n Temperamenti yt t\u00eb pengon q\u00eb t\u00eb jap\u00ebsh m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn t\u00ebnde ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb.<\/em><\/p>\n Ty t\u00eb p\u00eblqen t\u00eb ndihmosh t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. M\u00eb p\u00eblqen kjo tek ty.<\/em><\/p>\n M\u00eb p\u00eblqen m\u00ebnyra se si d\u00ebshiron t\u2019i b\u00ebsh njer\u00ebzit rreth teje t\u00eb qeshin.<\/em><\/p>\n Duket sikur je i pak\u00ebnaqur kur shoku yt, _______ ,\u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebtu.<\/em><\/p>\n Kur nuk i d\u00ebgjoni mjaftuesh\u00ebm k\u00ebto lloj v\u00ebzhgimesh dhe reagimesh, ju nuk m\u00ebsoni dy gj\u00ebra jetike t\u00eb cilat duhet t\u2019i m\u00ebsoni n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri: Ju nuk m\u00ebsoni se kush jeni n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Dhe nuk e kuptoni se ia vlen ta dini.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n K\u00ebshtu, duke u rritur n\u00eb nj\u00eb familje q\u00eb nuk ju vuri re dhe nuk tregoi interes, ju m\u00ebsuat se ndjenjat tuaja nuk kan\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi. K\u00ebshtu m\u00ebsuat se ju nuk duhet t\u00eb shfaqni veten tuaj t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebte m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, duke k\u00ebrkuar gj\u00ebra dhe duke mos marr\u00eb asgj\u00eb, ju m\u00ebsuat se t\u00eb ngresh z\u00ebrin dh\u00ebmb. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb neglizhenca emocionale e p\u00ebrjetuar n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri jua ka marr\u00eb z\u00ebrin tuaj.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ju keni lindur me nj\u00eb z\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00eb. Z\u00ebri juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb atje, brenda jush, duke pritur q\u00eb t\u00eb rifitohet. Kur t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni p\u00ebr neglizhenc\u00ebn emocionale n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri, do t\u00eb filloni t\u00eb kuptoni se si ju ka ndodhur dhe do t\u00eb filloni ta shihni at\u00eb n\u00eb shum\u00eb aspekte t\u00eb ndryshme t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. Do t\u00eb kuptoni se sa jeni larguar\u00a0 nga vetja juaj e brendshme e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, dhe po k\u00ebshtu edhe nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Kuptimi i k\u00ebsaj do t\u2019ju ndihmoj\u00eb t\u00eb shihni se ka nj\u00eb \u201cti\u201d brenda q\u00eb e keni injoruar gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebtyre viteve.\u00a0Filloni t\u00eb gjurmoni p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb d\u00ebshironi, ndjeni dhe keni nevoj\u00eb. \u00c7far\u00eb ju p\u00eblqen? Kush ju p\u00eblqen? Ku do t\u00eb shkosh? \u00c7far\u00eb ju m\u00ebrzit\u00a0 apo ju shqet\u00ebson? Jini t\u00eb v\u00ebmendsh\u00ebm.<\/p>\n N\u00eb momentin q\u00eb e kuptoni m\u00eb mir\u00eb se kush jeni, at\u00ebher\u00eb\u00a0 mund t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni aft\u00ebsit\u00eb p\u00ebr ta shprehur veten. M\u00ebsoni gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb mundeni p\u00ebr vendosm\u00ebrin\u00eb dhe aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb gj\u00ebrat n\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt munden dhe do ta d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb ju thoni. Praktikoni t\u00eb thoni, \u201cUn\u00eb dua__.\u201d \u201cUn\u00eb ndiej__.\u201d \u201cKam nevoj\u00eb__.\u201d \u00c7do her\u00eb q\u00eb ngrini z\u00ebrin do ju ndihmoj\u00eb q\u00eb ta keni m\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb ta b\u00ebni p\u00ebrs\u00ebri her\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ashtu si \u00e7do her\u00eb q\u00eb ngrini z\u00ebrin, b\u00ebni her\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr m\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb; sa her\u00eb q\u00eb i kushtoni v\u00ebmendje atij f\u00ebmije t\u00eb vog\u00ebl e t\u00eb qet\u00eb brenda, i d\u00ebrgoni atij ose asaj nj\u00eb mesazh t\u00eb fuqish\u00ebm. Duke b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn e asaj q\u00eb kan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb prind\u00ebrit tuaj, duke i siguruar vetes at\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb ata nuk mund t\u00eb t\u00eb jepnin, ju po pranoni at\u00eb q\u00eb jeni dhe po d\u00ebgjoni at\u00eb \u00e7\u2019ka keni nevoj\u00eb. Ju po i thoni vetes dhe atij f\u00ebmije t\u00eb vog\u00ebl e t\u00eb heshtur brenda:\u00a0Ti ke r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n \u00c7far\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb njer\u00ebzit kur e din\u00eb se kan\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi? Ata shprehin ndjenjat, d\u00ebshirat dhe nevojat e tyre.<\/p>\n \u00c7far\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebni kur t\u00eb kuptoni se keni r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi? Do t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni t\u00eb thoni t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn tuaj. Do ta riktheni z\u00ebrin tuaj.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n\n
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